Updated: Apr 10
Did you ever tell a lie? A small lie, a white lie, as we call it? A lie you tell to avoid worse consequences, pain or distress and later this little lie turns out to have some serious consequences? This is what we do every day to ourselves on an unconscious level. We don’t want to see, know or hear our real truth, because of distress, pain or to avoid worse consequences. Wouldn’t it be better for us to bite the bullet, instead of keeping up appearances? Self-change starts with self-honesty, so time to get real! Because what’s a life to live if it is not pure and fakeness occurs? It is not your life, it is not you and living it is NOT satisfying the REAL YOU!
About what should we be honest to ourselves?
About EVERYTHING! I understand your reaction: I am being honest to myself! But are you really, really? Honestly? To be truly honest: no, you are not. We all are not honest to ourselves and, unfortunately, this is normal, as we automatically lie to ourselves to avoid distress, pain or worse consequences.
Why is it so difficult to be honest to ourselves?
TV, social media, commercials, magazines, expectations, family, cultures, education, etc. influences us from a young age and forces us to all act in a certain way. But, we are all different and we all want different things. We pull in one direction and society is pulling us in another direction. We have to go to school and get the highest degree possible. We have to look a certain way. We have to do a certain job. We cannot be like this or like that. We are all pre-programmed by society and what others may think of us that we forget who we really are and what we really want.
Why is it so important to be honest with yourself?
If you are completely honest with yourself you will achieve a level of self-consciousness, wherein you are able to form and create yourself and your life around you as you want it to be. You will know your weaknesses and your strengths and you will be able to overcome your weaknesses with your strengths. You will be able to unlock your inner truths, become the your real you and fully understand what you really want.
Sounds appealing? Well, let’s have a closer look at how we can achieve this honesty towards ourselves.
Every thought or feeling that crosses your mind more than 3 times daily is likely to be an excuse, self-lie or run-away-from-the-truth. To achieve honestly, you have to let this thought or feeling go through a process of 3 stages:
1. LISTEN TO IT. Take the time to really listen to your thought or feeling. Analyze it, think about it and figure out what it really means. The best way to do this is to write your thought or feeling down on a piece of paper and analyze it in detail.
For example: I am too tired to go to the gym. Am I really too tired to go to the gym? Or am I bored in the gym and I need to change my routine? There is a big difference between these two answers. Only one answer is true and the consequences of the untrue-answer can be self-destroying.
2. ACCEPT IT. If you don’t like the gym and your workout, accept this. Don't force yourself to like it. Never do something in your life you really don’t like to do. Life is too short to suffer freely. Instead, be honest to yourself, accept your thought or feeling and be at peace with it.
3. ADAPT TO IT. Don’t try to change your true thoughts and feelings. It is your inner voice that speaks your truth. Instead, adapt to it. Find a way to combine what you really feel with what is important to you.
For example: If you rather watch TV than go for a workout, combine working out with watching TV.
Be honest to yourself! Listen to your deeper inner voice that tells you the truth about what you really think and feel. Listen, accept, adapt and remember the gift you get from truly being honest to yourself: (1) unlock your inner truths, (2) become your real you and (3) fully understand what you really want. This will grow the love you should have for yourself. This is important, because loving yourself creates happiness, fulfillment and joy!